The question is hard to answer. It's different for everyone. Bottom Space and I have a love hate relationship. I want to be there but when I am there I hate it. You can tell if I'm getting close. I'm whiny and emotional and very clingy. Mostly because I feel so volunerable. It's when I need some of that special TLC that all bottoms need. When I'm in that space I need it the most. I need that TLC the most because it is all a part of the process. It's the time when I need my top to do the most that she can do. weather it's push me over the edge spanking wise or show me how much she cares by holding me for an enterity. It's the best time to get in and prove to me that if I fall she will pick me up. It's the best time for really any kind of lesson because it's the time I'm most trusting. Now thats stage 1 for me. A stage thats really hard to accept. stage 2 is when I do accept it thats when I'm complient and not fighting thats when I'm truely in bottomspace. It takes a lot to get me through stage one into stage two. It seems like everytime I get into stage one something happens and we get set back.

I guess why I'm posting this is because my last post I was getting there struggling with it but doing ok. Kali is on a trip and I've become more and more unsteady when it comes to being in bottom space. Kali hasn't left top space she said but I've left bottom space. I often think of things I can do to try and reach bottom space before Kali returns. I often have the fear that Kali will leave top space and I know that if that fear is there then I'm nowhere near bottom space. The trust that it takes to let Kali lead me through relearning everything is more then I can express. I know that once I feel comfortable in bottom space... I guess I'm just having a hard time accepting bottom space because it's like once we get there something happens and either I leave bottom space or she leaves top space and we never seem to be able to real our goal. So my friends I hope this is the last time I EVER have to write about the struggle getting to bottom space! I'm in A LOT of trouble when Kali gets back so you I will have to blog about it. It's not gunna be pretty!